Random Post for Anonymous #10

Ok so it has been a while since I have done one of these, but I was walking this morning, yes, walking. And while I was walking I was thinking which was also astonishing because I havn’t really ‘thought’ about anything like I had this morning. I started toying with the idea of re-incarnation and what would happen in that transient space between the ending of life and the beginning of another. Does one fade away and then be squeezed (quite literally) back in with all memory seemingly wiped away never to be pressed upon again? Or is there something that occurs between these two chasms of the end and the beginning?

This thought actually occured as I wondered about myself and my qualities…talents if you will. Not that I have any magnanimous talents to begin with but moreso my personal being in a sense. What do I most enjoy and what am I good at doing? I am very good at ruminating on a myriad of ridiculous happenings in my day to day life, but I don’t really enjoy this path. I enjoy listening to music, and spend the great majority of my day setting time aside to grace my ears with some sort of melody…but I am hopeless when it comes to playing it. I found this strange irony in these two premises – as if I had been only designated half of something and not been allowed to experience a quality to it’s full extent.

To explain what I mean is going to be tedious but play along. If I was good at ruminating, I mean proficient and I did it gracefully and wrote what I felt into a novel, or a book, or something maybe I could become successful doing so. Yes, I am good at ruminating but I don’t dwell on what I want to at all, and thus do not enjoy it. Leading me to music, I enjoy and obtain pleasure form listening to music, to sounds, to vibrations, but I don’t know or have the persistence to create those sounds. I feel as if I’m seeing in black and white and do not have the full picture.

This brings me back to my original idea of the transient gap between the end of life and the beginning of another (if we are to assume re-incarnation is not a fallacy). Was I given a choice in what sort of life I would lead? Once I made that choice was that decision wiped from memory before I entered my new life? It makes me laugh to think what kind of masochistic being would choose to live a life half fulfilled. Maybe, when the time comes for me to map out my next life I’ll be a bit more kind.

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